I thought I was ok ....
.... but it turns out I have a lot of healing to do. I just came back from one of the BEST trips of my life. It was also one of the most emotional trips of my life - so much laughter and so so so many tears. At one point, I remember crying so hard that I didn't feel like it would ever stop. In the past I likely would have stopped myself from letting the feelings flow - but the shoulder I was snotting on (I know, great image, right 😂) belongs to someone special and so I knew I was safe, and I just let them flow. This was the beginning of finally recognizing that I am not ok. Of course I am "ok" - I can get through my days, I eat, I practice self-care, I can care for my kiddos, I can make mostly rational decisions 😉. I'm ok. Yet on so many levels, I am also not ok. I started realizing a few weeks ago that I was having some significant anxiety around Clarissa coming back to Canada and coming to my place to get her stuff. I was uncomfortable. I knew my oldest was uncom