Bye Bye Brain

 

Do you ever wish you could remove your brain from your head to stop the incessant overthinking? I know I sure do and I am guessing that I am not alone. Sometimes I just want my head to shut the f@ck up! Wouldn't it just be that much easier if we could follow our hearts in all that we do in life? Not only would it be easier, I believe life would be that much more beautiful. Yet here we are fighting off the freaking hamster wheel that our heads so often create.

This past weekend I struggled with some anxiety on Saturday and Sunday. Looking back at what was making me anxious, if I had just allowed my heart to lead, my head wouldn't have gone where it did! Alas, hindsight is always 20/20 and we don't have the luxury of re-living those moments. What we do have though is the ability to communicate those moments to those that are close to us and work through the "thoughts" that might be making us feel vulnerable, or scared, or worried or whatever it may be.

I had 2 "triggers" on the weekend PLUS had an overload of hormones that had me fighting off tears most of Sunday. One trigger had me feeling very vulnerable and the other had me scared. The combination of those things led to my head spinning and spinning and spinning - when really, it didn't need to be. I know I allowed the spin and I know I have the tools to stop the spin when it starts. I just forgot for a moment.

Luckily I was able to share how I was feeling, use my tools and find peace in the remainder of my day. In the past these would have had me debilitated for days so even though my response was not a "perfect one" I need to be proud of how far I have come! A morning of weepy tears and some anxiousness is manageable when I can bounce back so much quicker.

The thing I find so interesting about anxiety is feeling anxious is in my heart and chest; yet that's not where it starts - it ALWAYS starts in my head! From my understanding of anxiety, the sympathetic nervous system kicks in as a way to respond to possible dangerous situations. It floods the body with hormones boosting its alertness and heart-rate and sending extra blood to the muscles. This reaction is completely involuntary and is there to protect us from danger. So why the heck when our heads spin out of control, completely of our own doing, do our bodies react in a way that can cause this sensation? It really is quite interesting and makes me believe even MORE in listening to my heart instead of listening to my head.

Don't get me wrong - I don't live with my head in the clouds and am fully aware that we can't just whimsically go through life following our hearts with complete disregard for other people. At the same time, instead of driving ourselves batshit crazy with the hamster wheel, why don't we just sit more often with the feelings and allow those to lead us?

After working through some of what was on my mind yesterday and sharing it, I was able to sit with my feelings so much better. It was actually quite refreshing to be able to just sit with them because they feel really good. I've often been told that I love BIG and for some people, they have told me it's "too big" - I will ALWAYS love the people in my life big - it's just how I'm wired and I quite like that about me. That's one of the "lessons from the universe" I was struggling so much with - I don't believe I'm meant to tone down who I am and how I am wired in order to protect my heart. I believe I am meant to love big and the people who are meant to receive that love will be brought in to my life.